Tag Archives: ego mind

Past Regrets, Mistakes & Actions – a new perspective to help you stop beating yourself up


Love Yourself UpPast regrets, mistakes and actions…..we all have them at some point or another through our journey in life.

Challenges show up, and we respond to them. Then thinking back, we may not like how we responded.

And then the voices kick in with stories of what you should have done, how you should have behaved or acted etc.

But there is a key important detail that is left out of those stories you tell yourself because the ego thrives on suffering, and if we discover this one key important detail that can totally shift our perspective, the ego will lose the battle.

And that key important detail is this:

At that time, you did the best you could in that moment, with what you knew at that time.

And that is truly it, period.

But the ego mind will not tell you that. Your soul may try to whisper it to you in subtle ways but until you gain more awareness of the voices in your head and the stories they tell you, that message from your soul will stay as exactly that, an unheard whisper.

It’s so easy to say after-the-fact that you should have done ‘this or that’, isn’t it?

But what we forget is that we’ve had time after the event to mull things over, judge ourselves, come up with different actions we could have taken or other ways we could have responded. But the fact is that you did what you did in that moment and there’s no way to go back and undo it.

There’s no way to travel back into the past except through the creation of thought.

And of course we can go back into the past through thought and become aware of what we would like to do next time something like that happens. That is about the only thing diving into the past for a few moments at a time is good for…..to learn from our experiences.

However, rehashing that past event or incident over and over in your mind is only going to keep you in a world called suffering.  You say you should have known better, but the truth is you didn’t…..not at that time……you probably know better now and that’s because you learned from that experience. And if something similar happens again, you will respond to it from the place where you are now. And even then you may not like the outcome after-the-fact.

But this time you’ll have that one key important detail that was missing the first time – that you did the best you could at that time with what you knew at that time and you won’t live in that world of suffering because of this new perspective.

Does that make sense?

The big area of my life where this has happened to me is with the decision of when it’s time to say goodbye to my pups. I’ve had two bullmastiffs that I’ve had to say goodbye to in the last 8 years and in my experience, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

And I suffered a lot less the second time I experienced this challenge which happened this past April compared to my first experience of this challenge.

Why? Because of this new shift in perspective which became very clear with the recent passing of my last dog. And I believe it’s one of the many reasons why I healed so much faster this time around. There are a lot of other reasons why I healed faster, but I wanted to share this one because it just felt relevant at this time and is what showed up for me to write about today.

So I hope you received a little bit of a shift within from reading this. I’d love to hear your thoughts……feel free to comment below and also to share this post if you feel others may benefit from reading it………many thanks and much love!




I am truly grateful to live in a country where I have the opportunity to do what I want, eat what I want, wear what I want, talk the way I want and vote. But today has me thinking about another piece of Freedom………the piece that has to do with our inner Freedom. I believe… Continue Reading